Why You Should Stop Sending Paragraphs Over Text

Did you ever send someone a long paragraph only to get a one-word response? (Or worse, a read receipt.)

It’s infuriating and humiliating, and it makes you want to hurl your phone at a wall.

When I started this blog, I made it my mission to help at least one person avoid repeating my mistakes. And sending long paragraphs is at the top of that list.

No one deserves to put so much care and effort into a relationship only to be met with radio silence.

Whether you’re arguing or simply trying to get something off your chest, here’s why you should think twice before sending a 2,000-word essay over text.

1. Any conversation that warrants paragraphs should be discussed in person

Or at the very least, over a phone call. In any case, it should be live. And if the other person can’t make enough time for a phone call, then you shouldn’t be talking to them at all – because they clearly don’t care.

We’ve become so used to texting that we’ve forgotten that some conversations should happen live.

When you’re talking to someone face to face, you perceive more than just what’s coming out of their mouth. Body language and facial expressions are all important in a conversation. Texting doesn’t come even close to the real deal and it’s simply not appropriate for every discussion.

2. You’ll probably seriously regret it later

Let’s say you just got out of a relationship and desperately need closure. You think that sending that one final text where you air out all your emotions will do the trick. But the only thing it will give you is deep regret.

If you’re still dead set on sending a long text to get closure, please write it in your notes app first, wait at least 24 hours and see if you still want to send it. Chances are high that you were just caught up in your feelings.

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ll know that I don’t believe closure exists. And even if it did, you most definitely wouldn’t find it via text. So it’s better to channel that energy into any other activity instead of writing entire novels for your ex.

3. There’s a high probability you’ll end up as a screenshot in someone’s group chat

Sending paragraphs comes with a risk that they’ll get screenshotted and shared with third parties. How do I know?

Because I’ve been the third-party recipient of such screenshots and I’m sure there are people out there with screenshots of my texts.

If you’ve met someone only recently, it’s worth asking yourself if you should trust them not to share your private conversations. Especially if you’re in the middle of a tense argument – what you think is a scathing reply might end up as laughing stock in someone else’s inbox.

What to try instead of paragraphs

Arguing over text is frustrating and more often than not, resolves nothing.

No matter how hard you try to prove your point, no matter how much time you spend looking for the perfect words to illustrate your point, it’s not going to work when the other person is hellbent on refusing to understand you.

The next time you’re upset with someone, set a boundary – refuse to engage in endless texting and ask that you talk it over in person or over a video call.

If they can’t make time for this, then they probably aren’t as invested as you are, and sending a novel over text isn’t going to change that.