Where Do You Meet Good Guys? 15 Ways to Start With

You’ve deleted the dating apps, or you’re seriously thinking about it.

And now you’re stuck on the obvious question: where do you meet good guys when you’re not swiping?

This article breaks down 15 ways to meet a good man for a relationship.

First, What Even Is a “Good Guy”?

A “good guy” is a man who wants a committed relationship, is respectful and kind, and meets your relationship standards.

However, be careful not to only look at the external. Obviously, if you want a man who’s educated, ambitious, and financially stable, that’s fair and you shouldn’t have to apologize for wanting this.

The trouble starts when that’s the whole list. Plenty of the “high-value men” the internet loves to talk about tick every box on paper and are still emotionally unavailable, inconsistent, and a nightmare to date.

So keep your standards. Just don’t let salary and looks crowd out the things that impact whether a relationship works, like:

• Emotional availability. He’s actually ready for a relationship, not just casual dating.
• Consistency. His behavior matches his words.
• Kind when there’s nothing in it for him. Watch how he treats waiters, his friends, and women he isn’t trying to sleep with.

SEE ALSO: 9 Green Flags in a Guy

15 Ways and Places to Meet Good Guys

Here’s a list of ways you can meet a good man who’s ready for a committed relationship:

1. Through friends

Tell your friends you want to meet someone. A lot of people won’t introduce you to anyone unless they know you’re open to it. They don’t want to be pushy, and some of them assume you’re happy single and don’t want to offend you by suggesting otherwise.

So be direct and say something like: “I’d really love to meet someone good, do you know anyone?” This gives your friends permission to play matchmaker.

2. At friends’ parties and small gatherings

You don’t need a formal setup to meet someone through your circle, you just need to be more sociable.

A while back, a friend invited me to her company’s birthday party—a small startup celebrating its third year. They’d invited a big mix of people, friends included, and I ended up meeting someone really interesting there.

That’s what makes these events a great way to meet people. Everyone’s relaxed, nobody’s there to date, and the people in the room are all usually a friend-of-a-friend so you can ask if someone’s single without approaching the guy directly.

So say yes to the house parties, the birthdays, the work mixers your friends drag you to. Even when you’d rather stay home.

3. Recurring group activities

Run clubs, hiking clubs, climbing gyms, recreational sports leagues, etc., help you expand your social circle and make it more likely you’ll meet someone.

The benefit here is that you’re not meeting a stranger once and trying to size him up over a dinner and drinks. You can get to know someone over a period of time.

4. Classes that meet more than once

If you’re not athletic then cooking, pottery, improv, or language classes are another great way to meet people.

5. Volunteering for a cause you care about

Volunteering puts you next to men who care about others, want to support their community, and do so happily without expectation of pay.

You can volunteer at an animal shelter, a food bank, or with an environmental group. You’ll have common ground right away, and you’ll be around people who think about more than themselves.

6. The gym

The gym is a great place to meet someone, especially if working out is a regular part of your life.

If you want a partner who’s into fitness, this is where they are. Become a regular, take the same classes, and you’ll start recognizing faces.

But be aware that some people are there to train, headphones in, and want to be left alone. A good way to gauge if someone is interested in talking to you is to make eye contact, smile, and make a quick comment or ask a question that he can use to start an actual conversation if he wants to.

7. Hobbyist meetups

Board game nights and book clubs are built for talking to strangers, which takes the pressure off.

You don’t have to invent a reason to talk to someone because the activity does it for you. And you already know you share at least one interest.

8. Events around your existing interests

Concerts, author talks, film screenings, and niche community events allow you to meet men who already share an interest or a value with you.

9. Becoming a regular at your everyday spots

“Just be approachable at the coffee shop” is useless advice on its own, but if you become a regular, other guys who are also regulars will find it easier to approach you.

Go to the same coffee shop, bookstore, or Sunday market. Once the faces start repeating, a hello turns into a conversation naturally.

10. The dog park

If you have a dog, you already have the perfect icebreaker and a reason to be in the same place at the same time most days.

Dog people talk to dog people. And you get a good look at how a man treats an animal that depends on him, which tells you plenty.

11. Through work and industry events

I don’t mean dating a coworker because that’s tricky and not always worth it. I mean conferences, industry meetups, and professional events.

These pull in driven, like-minded people, often from outside your own company. And you’ve got an easy opener built in: the work itself.

12. Religious groups

If faith is part of your life, this is one of the most natural places to meet someone who shares your values.

People here are often looking for something serious, and you’re surrounded by a community that can vouch for each other.

13. Weddings

A classic for a reason. Everyone’s dressed up, in a good mood, and surrounded by people their friends already know and trust.

When you get an invite with a plus-one you can’t fill, go anyway.

14. Travel and group tours

People are more open on vacation. A group tour, a hostel common room, or a group trip abroad—you’re thrown together with strangers who are relaxed and up for talking.

Even if nothing romantic comes of it, you’re practicing the exact skill that helps you get comfortable talking to new people without a script.

15. In-person singles events and mixers

In a lot of cities there’s an Instagram page or a service that runs singles nights at a specific bar.

Everyone there is single and there to meet people, which cuts out the guessing.

It can feel nerve-wracking to walk in alone, so bring a friend or two. You’ll relax faster, work the room more naturally, and have someone to debrief with afterward.

How to Spot Good Guys

You can join the run club, say yes to every party, become a regular at three different coffee shops. And you can still end up single because you struggle to recognize a good man.

Sometimes women write off good men as boring, because they’re used to commitment-phobics who give them anxiety they interpret as chemistry or butterflies.

So work on both. Get out of the house. But also be honest about who you tend to overlook and who you tend to chase. If the available ones keep reading as boring, that’s worth a closer look.

SEE ALSO: How to Filter Out Men Who Aren’t Serious