What Having COVID Taught Me About The Importance Of Rest

Last month, I woke up one day feeling like crap. Hot one minute, cold the next, head the weight of an elephant. At first, I tried chalking up my symptoms to the wine I had the night before (and the subsequent hangover) but it soon became clear that I was running a fever.

Several days later, I received a positive COVID test result which only served as confirmation of what I already knew, given that I could smell virtually nothing – not even the copious amounts of garlic I cooked my pasta with or the intense smell of sage tea I was chugging like it was the liquid version of the vaccine.

But out of all the strange symptoms I was experiencing, one stood out the most – fatigue. It was persistent and constant, and it robbed me of energy unlike any other illness I experienced in my life so far.

Outside of work, I barely mustered the energy to cook a meal every night, even though my symptoms were mild. Anything else I had on my schedule had to wait.

Amidst taking half a dozen vitamin supplements on a daily basis and praying every night that my sense of smell does come back (it did), I slowly accepted that I had to slow down – Miss Rona gave me no other choice.

Facing Time Anxiety

Anyone who knows me knows that I like to keep busy.

While I do indulge in the occasional night of doing absolutely nothing, I prefer to find a way to productively fill my time after work. I practice yoga, I read, I brush up on my German, and if I run out of things to do, you bet I’ll find something else to fill my schedule soon.

I’m not trying to brag – in fact, my inability to just relax, do nothing, and not feel guilty about it needs some serious attention, and I’m not the only one who feels this way.

People who feel like they always have to be doing something struggle with what’s known as time anxiety.

We develop it when we focus too much on our purpose in life. And when our happiness depends on our ability to fill our time meaningfully, resting and relaxing actually results in anxiety. Isn’t that fun?

When I developed symptoms of COVID, they were thankfully mild enough that I didn’t need medical attention. My roommate soon followed with a positive test result as well, and we resigned ourselves to spending two weeks indoors.

“That’s fine,” I thought to myself. “I can still do most things from home.”

That’s when The Rona really sent me for a ride.

Can you imagine what it feels like going to bed at 9 PM, falling asleep the second your head hits the pillow, and waking up in the morning feeling like you didn’t get any sleep? For weeks, this was my life, even after all the other symptoms had disappeared.

Thanks to caffeine, I was able to power through work. But the energy that I once had to focus on anything else had simply evaporated, so immediately going back to my regularly scheduled programming was impossible.

What Having COVID Taught Me About The Importance Of Rest

To anyone who’s struggled with time anxiety and feeling like they have to be productive all the time, even resting when they’re sick seems wrong, and the more I tried to push back against fatigue, the more it swung back.

On a Saturday morning, one day after I got my positive test result, I woke up and decided that today would be the day that I cleaned my whole apartment. After all, I couldn’t go anywhere else and that would be a productive way to spend the day. (And what other way is there, even if you’re COVID positive?)

Needless to say, I didn’t get any further past changing my bedsheets.

But that’s exactly the kind of irrational, silly behavior that happens when you’re obsessed with spending your time meaningfully. After some time, I made my peace with my new predicament. My body demanded it and I had no other choice but to comply.

But this experience has taught me that I should make a serious effort to listen to all the other signals my body sends me when I need a break, and not just when I’m ill.

So many of us power through stress, exhaustion, and anger, even though these are telltale signs of burnout, just because we’ve come to believe that being constantly dissatisfied or on edge is the norm.

Obviously, this issue goes much deeper than just merely accepting that it’s okay to rest and recharge. It’s deeply linked to our mind-body connection and all the ways in which we’re disconnected from the present moment.

My time anxiety and preoccupation with meaningfully spending each and every moment remains something I deal with on a daily basis. But my experience with COVID nudged me in the right direction, so that one day I may accept that even the moments I deem “wasted” are actually quite essential.