5 Lessons I Wish I Had Learned At School

Having graduated from high school nearly ten years ago, I can now look back on this time with an adult perspective.

And despite all the knowledge I was bombarded with back then, there are still certain important lessons I wish I had learned at school before I set off into the world on my own.

That said, I’m still grateful for all the experiences that have shaped me into the woman I am today. Some lessons simply have to be learned by doing rather than observing, and they make for some pretty exciting stories!

On the other hand, not all of the stories are exciting or fun. Some are tied to events and people I’d prefer to Ctrl+Alt+Del from my mind but alas, that’s not how brains work.

While I appreciate the lessons, I sometimes can’t help but think: “Couldn’t I have learned this any other way?” It certainly would’ve been easier.

Here are some of the most important lessons I’ve learned so far that I wish I had learned at school:

Lessons I Wish I Had Learned At School

1. If you don’t respect yourself, you make it easy for others to do the same

Self-respect is the foundation of the quality of your relationships, and by extension, life. The lower it is, the more disrespect you tolerate.

I’m talking about people walking all over your boundaries, friends who treat you poorly, acting like a Cool Girl, and people-pleasing to such an extent that you become a different person with different groups of people.

If the adults in your life didn’t model self-respect while you were growing up, or no one sat you down at some point and talked to you about the importance of standing up for yourself, then the bitter truth is this: You’ll probably experience some pretty painful events that will make you learn the hard way.

It’s no coincidence that manipulative people such as narcissists have a radar for low self-respect and zero boundaries, which allows them to quickly scope out who will put up with their shenanigans.

By continuously making yourself the last priority in your relationships, you become a prime target for those who know how to take advantage of your kindness. Setting firm boundaries will help you filter out such individuals and spare yourself the pain brought by a toxic relationship.

2. No one is coming to save you

When I was in my early teens, I loved the Twilight books.

Not only did they offer an entertaining escape from my mundane life but they were also based on a fantasy many young people share – a handsome individual appears out of nowhere, sweeps you off your feet, and whisks you away to a beautiful, carefree life.

Years came and went (and so did my Twilight obsession) but the idea of a Special Person appearing in my life and changing everything for the better remained.

I’m not a psychologist but I assume it’s some kind of coping mechanism, a way to avoid taking charge of your own life.

The realization that no one is coming to save you does sound dramatic. But that doesn’t make it any less true.

You are the only person with the power to change your circumstances. Giving that power away to a chance encounter with a stranger is disparaging of your own strength.

While sometimes people do come into your life and change its course for the better, there’s no point in twiddling your thumbs while waiting for this to happen.

Relying on others to direct your life is an act of self-betrayal and also makes it easier for manipulative people to take advantage of you.

Discovering my agency and realizing that I don’t have to live life on autopilot was one of the most important lessons I learned in my twenties and definitely one I wish I had learned at school.

3. You don’t need to be a perfectionist to succeed

Growing up, many of us learned to associate perfectionism with success. In adulthood, this creates serious problems – we feel like nothing we do is ever enough, and we become our own worst critics.

Overcoming my perfectionism has been a challenge, partly because society awards such behavior, which in turn creates a subconscious belief that anything other than perfection isn’t worthy of attention.

As a content creator, I’m constantly fighting the voice of my inner perfectionist every time I click ‘publish’ on a new post, share a new reel on Instagram, or ask another blogger if they’d be interested in featuring me on their website.

It tells me I’m not good enough, that my articles are too dull, that my website theme needs to be more polished, that I come across too stiff in my reels… and the list goes on and on.

But since I decided to ignore that voice, I came to realize that despite my “imperfect” work, I’ve still succeeded. People read this blog, interact with me on Instagram, and I’ve even been published on a handful of well-respected websites.

It seems like perfectionism is only an impediment to success – who would’ve thought?

So if there’s an idea brewing in your mind, this is your sign to give it a try, even if you feel like it’s not ready. Chances are you won’t ever think it is, so you might as well go for it!

4. You’ll never have all the answers – do The Thing anyway

Growing up means accepting that there is no magical “aha!” moment when your life clicks into place and you get all the answers to life’s questions.

Instead, you need to learn to make decisions even if you aren’t 100 percent certain that it will work out, even when there’s a risk involved and you don’t have the full picture.

And unless you work on developing your self-trust and intuition, you’ll never find the certainty that we all so desire.

What’s more, looking to the outside world for confirmation that you’re making the right choice is never a good idea because deep down, you already know what you want.

Being dependent on outside validation is an act of self-sabotage, and the minute you learn how to trust yourself, you’ll be able to live more boldly and confidently.

Living an authentic life where you take risks and go after what you want seems like a daunting prospect when you’re riddled with anxiety and self-doubt. But this is the only way that you can be successful – regardless of what success means to you.

5. Be grateful

Being grateful even when things aren’t going my way is one of the most important things I wish I had learned at school.

For a long time, cynicism and complaining were some of my worst habits. Finding the bad in the good was a particularly good talent of mine.

At the same time, I still had plenty to be grateful for in my life, but none of these things crossed my mind when I’d be busy feeling sorry for myself.

So if you’re struggling to see the silver lining in a given situation, you can rely on gratitude to get you there. Start by appreciating your loved ones and all the small blessings you take for granted and by the time you’re done, your frustration will have died down.

Final Thoughts

In addition to these five lessons I wish I had learned at school, I’m sure you could think of at least a dozen more that were a part of your own growth journey.

Maybe you’ve had to learn how to stop acting like a therapist in your relationships, or how to better manage your anger in stressful situations. Oftentimes it’s the difficult experiences that teach us these invaluable lessons, allowing us to do better in the future.

Regardless of your age, you can rest assured that you’ll be growing and learning for the rest of your life – and that’s something to look forward to!

SEE ALSO: What I Learned From Reading My Old Diary Entries

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