Take a moment to remember a situation when you allowed someone else to have full control over your thoughts, emotions, or actions. That’s what giving your power away entails.
Maybe it happened this morning when another driver cut you off in traffic, launching you into an angry outburst that put a damper on your entire day.
Or perhaps you allowed a family member to guilt trip you into doing them a favor you have no bandwidth for.
Regardless of which areas of your life are most affected by this behavior, you can still stop siphoning your energy away into situations that don’t need it.
Here are 8 unexpected ways you could be giving your power away:
How You’re Giving Your Power Away
1. Festering in your unhappiness
A defining characteristic of strong people is the ability to face their problems and difficult feelings, and then take action to change their circumstances for the better.
No matter how small, these actions help them nurture a positive attitude that makes a world of difference when navigating challenging times.
Negative people, however, get stuck in the quicksand that is their own attitude. And before you come at me with “this is just a bunch of self-help mumbo-jumbo crap”, I’d encourage you to think of at least one person whose attitude just sucks.
It’s no coincidence that a lot of people who suffer from a bad attitude always have an excuse for not changing their behavior.
Even if it’s a small change, you can bet they’ll either blame others or come up with the most ridiculous reasons why they just need to stay stuck right where they are.
Don’t be this person – it’s in your best interest to be happy and enjoy your life. You can’t alter your circumstances overnight but the very least you could do is be less toxic to your own self.
2. Not setting standards for your career, love life, friendships, and everything in between
Going through life without standards is an exercise in clownery.
High standards and healthy boundaries act as your personal compass and help you identify a negative influence much quicker since you know what kind of behavior you won’t tolerate.
Everyone wants to live their “best life” but you won’t get there by settling, compromising your values, and not getting clear on your goals.
Although I’m not saying you should plan out every single detail of your life 20 years from now, you should still have some idea of what your ideal life looks like, so you can start moving toward it.
3. Becoming too dependent on the validation of others
Everyone loves validation and attention. Wanting to be liked is a human need and it’s normal.
But there’s a big difference between a desire to be accepted and basing your entire self-worth on external validation.
When outside approval becomes your guidance in life, you’ll find it tough to reach your greatest potential because you’ll be easily swayed by what everyone else thinks.
Sometimes, being happy and finding success means going off the beaten path and putting yourself in a position where others might judge or ridicule you.
It takes a lot of mental strength to overcome this need to self-sabotage yourself when external validation disappears.
This need is precisely how you’re giving your power away and placing it in the hands of others.
Reminding yourself on a regular basis that your worth isn’t dependent on outside validation, through journaling or positive affirmations, is one of the best ways to overcome this self-sabotaging behavior.
4. You’re easily bothered by what everyone else is doing
It’s easy to spend hours of your time stalking everyone you ever knew on social media, comparing your life to theirs.
But the only thing this habit leads to is a waste of energy and unproductive thoughts filled with resentment and envy.
Next time you catch yourself judging someone else’s life, remember that all you’re going to accomplish with this behavior is making yourself miserable.
Deciding not to entertain this habit can really make or break the type of day you’ll have. So, make sure to be less judgemental to avoid giving your power away.
5. You often fall into a victim mindset
Do you often find yourself feeling sorry for yourself, complaining about how you can never catch a break? This is what a victim mindset looks like.
It goes without saying that we can’t control every aspect of our circumstances. But when faced with problems, you alone hold the key to their solution.
It might not be an overnight solution, and it might take work to get there, but don’t let this be an excuse to not act.
6. You harbor resentment
Despite the messages you might be seeing online, holding onto grudges like they’re a prized possession is not a good thing.
When you decide to let go of resentment and practice forgiveness, you stop yourself from giving brain power to people and situations that no longer deserve it.
Acting petty might give you a temporary ego boost but this doesn’t change the fact it’s a waste of your energy. Instead, choose to learn from the past and move on.
7. You’re a people-pleaser
Are you really “just being nice” or “accommodating”? Or are you a people-pleaser with no clear boundaries? If you are, people are probably taking advantage of that.
If you want to take your power back, learn how to stop abandoning yourself. Say “yes” for the right reasons, not because you can’t stand the thought of disappointing someone.
Making everyone else happy at the expense of your emotional boundaries and wellbeing is a slippery slope.
Pretty soon, you’ll find yourself exhausted and resentful that you constantly seem to be doing so much, so be sure to hit the brakes on time.
8. You worry excessively
As I’m writing this, I’m worrying excessively and trying to power through it. It’s tough when your own mind gives you a difficult time, but this is what life with anxiety looks like.
Precisely because I know what excessive worry feels like, I can say that it’s a waste of energy.
I saw a quote by Mark Twain the other day that perfectly encapsulates this phenomenon: “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”
Worry is how we try to give ourselves some semblance of control when faced with stress and uncertainty. “If I run through every negative scenario in my head, then I’ll be better prepared.”
This is a silly little lie that makes us miserable in the present over problems that haven’t even happened yet.
Even if despite your best efforts you continue to worry, keep trying out different healthy coping mechanisms that can bring you peace.
All that matters is that you don’t succumb to anxiety and have it take all your power away.
Taking Your Power Back Means Taking Responsibility for Your Own Life
A lot of people have a knee-jerk reaction when told they’re responsible for the kind of day they’ll have. “But what about all the people who annoy me? What about the situations I have no control over?”
Sadly, they’re not going anywhere.
Nosy family members, annoying drivers, and unnecessarily loud people in public spaces are something you’ll have to navigate for the rest of your life – unless you decide to move to a cabin in the woods far away from civilization.
However, life is also bound to throw you bigger curveballs. And it’s up to you whether you’ll face them with confidence or with crippling self-doubt.
When you finally stop giving your power away, you can take advantage of your innate strength and start living life on your own terms.
Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this article, please consider sharing it on your favorite social media platform. You can also connect with me on Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest.
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