7 Real-Life Examples of Future Faking in Relationships


a couple dancing in a field

When we first meet someone we’re excited about, it’s natural to daydream about a future together. But what happens when those dreams are fueled by promises that never come true?

This is where the concept of future faking comes in.

Future faking happens when someone uses big promises about the future to gain trust or emotional investment without any real intention of following through.

It’s more than just harmless enthusiasm—it’s manipulative, misleading, and can leave you questioning your worth and reality.

In this article, you’ll read about real-life examples of future faking, so you can recognize the signs and protect your emotional wellbeing.

1. The “Dream Wedding” Promises

One of the most common forms of future faking involves talk of marriage.

If your partner frequently discusses wedding plans, choosing baby names, or dreaming about a married life together but makes no concrete effort toward engagement, you might be experiencing future faking.

For instance, they might casually bring up your “future wedding” during a conversation or say things like, “I can’t wait to call you my wife.”

However, when you try to discuss serious plans—like setting a timeline for engagement or saving up for a wedding—they deflect, change the subject, or say they’re “just not ready yet.”

The issue isn’t just that they’re not ready; it’s the disconnect between their words and actions.

While it’s normal to discuss future possibilities early in a relationship, consistent avoidance of concrete steps toward those plans is a red flag. Healthy relationship boundaries include being honest about timelines and intentions rather than stringing someone along.

2. “Let’s Move in Together” With No Action

Moving in together is a big step that many couples take when they’re ready to deepen their commitment. But when this milestone becomes a tool for future faking, it creates confusion and false hope.

Your partner might suggest moving in together to solidify your bond, saying things like, “I can’t wait for us to have a place of our own.” They may even go as far as browsing online apartment listings or talking about where you’d put your furniture.

But when it’s time to actually search for a place or sign a lease, excuses pile up: they’re too busy with work, need to save more money, or want to “wait for the right time.”

These delays can drag on for months—or even years—while you’re left in a holding pattern.

A partner who truly values your emotional wellbeing will be clear and proactive about taking tangible steps toward shared goals, rather than using empty promises to keep you invested.

3. “I’ll Introduce You to My Family Soon”

Meeting your partner’s family is a major relationship milestone that signifies trust and seriousness.

But in cases of future faking, this promise often becomes a dangling carrot that never materializes.

For example, your partner might tell you, “My parents would love you! Let’s plan a dinner soon,” or “You’re so important to me; I can’t wait for you to meet my family.”

However, whenever you bring it up, there’s always an excuse: their family’s schedule is too busy, the timing isn’t right, or they want to “wait until things get more serious.”

While it’s natural for some people to take time before introducing a significant other to their family, repeated delays without explanation can indicate a lack of intention.

A healthy relationship involves aligning actions with words and respecting each other’s expectations. If you’ve been dating for a while and still haven’t met anyone important in their life, it’s worth reevaluating their commitment.

4. Big Career Plans That Never Materialize

A future faker might use ambitious career goals to create an image of stability and success.

They’ll tell you about their dreams of becoming a CEO, buying a home, or achieving financial independence to paint a picture of the life you’ll share together.

However, as time goes on, you’ll notice a lack of progress toward these goals. They might say, “Once I get this promotion, we’ll be able to afford the life we’ve always talked about,” but they don’t take the necessary steps to advance their career.

This type of future faking can be especially misleading because it appeals to your hope for a secure, stable partnership.

The key here is to look at consistency: are they actively working toward their goals, or are they using them as a smokescreen to keep you emotionally invested? A trustworthy partner will back their promises with effort.

5. “We’ll Travel the World Together”

Travel promises are another common form of future faking. A partner might talk about all the incredible vacations you’ll take together, sharing vivid details about exploring Paris or lounging on a beach in Bali.

While it’s fun to dream about future adventures, the problem arises when these promises never turn into plans.

You may hear things like, “I’ve always wanted us to go on a romantic trip to Europe,” but when you suggest looking at flights or planning dates, they always have a reason to delay.

These unfulfilled promises can leave you feeling disappointed and questioning their sincerity. Planning a trip together requires time, effort, and financial commitment.

If your partner isn’t willing to take those steps, it’s worth asking why they’re making promises they don’t intend to keep.

6. “I Want Kids, Just Not Yet”

Starting a family is a deeply personal decision that requires trust and mutual understanding. Future fakers often use this topic to keep their partner emotionally tied without committing to a clear timeline.

For instance, they might say, “I can’t wait for us to have kids someday,” but continually push the timeline back with vague excuses like wanting to focus on their career or save more money.

While it’s reasonable to delay parenthood for practical reasons, the issue lies in the inconsistency.

If your partner isn’t open to discussing a realistic plan, it might be a sign they’re using the promise of children to maintain control over the relationship without genuine intention.

7. “I’ll Work on Myself for Us”

Promises of self-improvement are often used in future faking to create the illusion of growth.

Your partner might acknowledge their shortcomings—like poor communication or unhealthy habits—and promise to work on them “for the sake of the relationship.”

They might say, “I’ll start therapy soon,” or “I’ll cut back on drinking—I just need time.” However, weeks or months pass without any concrete steps toward change.

True self-improvement requires effort, accountability, and follow-through.

If your partner consistently fails to act on their promises, it’s a sign they may be using these declarations to placate you rather than genuinely improve themselves or the relationship.

Moving Forward With Awareness

Future faking can leave you feeling confused, frustrated, and emotionally drained.

By recognizing the signs—like empty promises about marriage, moving in, or personal growth—you can protect yourself from investing in relationships that lack authenticity.

A healthy relationship is built on consistent actions, clear communication, and mutual respect.

Don’t settle for words that sound good but lack substance. The right partner will show their commitment through both their promises and their actions.

If this article resonated with you, follow me on Instagram for more relationship advice, including tips on navigating disorganized attachment and fostering emotional wellness.

Aida

Marketing is my day job. But I'm also passionate about sharing my dating expertise to help women date better and have more fulfilling relationships.

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