16 Essential Dos And Don’ts Of Online Dating Apps


an image with a sign that says the dos and don'ts of online dating

Online dating can be a great way to meet people and make romantic connections, but it’s important to remember that there are some dos and don’ts when it comes to using dating apps.

Following these online dating dos and don’ts is essential for putting together a well-crafted profile that will help you stand out from the crowd and attract matches who share your interests and values.

8 Dos Of Online Dating

To increase your chances of success on platforms like Bumble, Hinge, or other apps, pay attention to the tips below.

1. Send an interesting first message

If you want your message to stand out in your match’s inbox, it should contain more than a single word and be more interesting than “What’s up?”

Some dating apps offer a question generator to kickstart a conversation but it’s even better to ask a question about something they included on their profile.

2. Use a bright, high-quality featured photo

Not every single photo on your profile needs to be super high quality. Your featured photo, however, should be well-lit and of good quality.

Smile – appearing friendly goes a long way – and remember to post shots that accurately portray what you look like.

3. Have a well-written bio

When putting together a dating profile, most people focus on the pictures. But if you’re serious about finding a long-term partner in the world of online dating, your bio is just as important.

A well-written bio should offer a glimpse into your life and personality. Be straightforward and brief, there’s no need to write essays or declarations of love to your future spouse.

If you’re not sure where to start, try this: “Originally from X, now I live in X. I do (job) for a living but in my free time I like to (hobby). On the weekends, you can find me (doing X activity).”

Avoid doing the following:

  • Leaving the bio empty, filling it with just emojis, or writing something to the effect of “Let’s meet up and see if we vibe”. It shows a lack of effort.
  • Sounding negative or bitter. If this is your first instinct when writing a bio, you’re better off uninstalling the app since you’re not emotionally ready to date.
  • Using corny lines such as “Not Henry Cavill”. They haven’t been funny for years and tell nothing about who you are as a person.
  • Listing all of your relationship standards like it’s a job description. It makes you sound arrogant and unpleasant.
  • Going into great detail on what you want but adding little to no information about yourself.

Finally, if the app allows you to answer prompts about yourself, don’t forget to fill them out.

People often use the answers to these prompts to filter potential matches, which will increase your chances of connecting with someone who’s a good fit.

4. Be open about what you’re looking for

Nowadays, many apps let you select what kind of relationship you’re looking for. If you want to increase your chances of finding someone who’s a good match, don’t leave this field empty.

Also, don’t lie about the kind of relationship you want just so you can match with more people. That’s manipulative and a waste of everyone’s time.

Likewise, pay attention to what your matches are looking for. In other words, if someone’s profile clearly states they are not interested in a serious relationship, swipe right only if that’s something you’re okay with.

5. Actually read the bio of the person you’re talking to

Before you message someone, take a quick look at their bio to make sure you’re not asking a question they already provided an answer to.

The bio is also a good starting point if you need ideas to write an interesting first message.

6. Say yes to video dates

When online dating, some people feel more comfortable having a quick video call before agreeing to an in-person date.

This is a good idea because:

  • You’re able to confirm they’re not a catfish.
  • You can gauge whether there’s enough chemistry for you to invest in a real date.

Although it might feel awkward to video chat with someone you’ve never met, you have nothing to lose, so give it a try.

7. Be honest if you don’t feel a connection

It should be fairly simple: Don’t lead someone on if you know you’re not into them. But this is easier said than done.

Most people have experienced some type of breadcrumbing in a relationship or were ghosted by someone they thought was interested in them.

(Side note: if you were disrespectful and got ghosted, then you shouldn’t be upset. No one has to entertain disrespect.)

Ghosting, slow-fading, etc. happen because people are conflict-avoidant. No one wants to be seen as the bad guy.

This is understandable, but you should treat people the way you want to be treated.

A simple text that goes along the lines of, “I enjoyed getting to know you but I don’t feel a romantic connection” is a much better and more mature option than ghosting.

8. Be willing to meet in person

Before you install a dating app, make sure you’re doing so because you’re actually ready to date in person.

If you just crave attention and think that dating apps are an easy way to get it, you’ll be wasting everyone’s time.

It’s not okay to use others for an ego boost. If you seriously struggle with low self-esteem, it is better to invest your time in therapy rather than seek attention from strangers.

8 Don’ts Of Online Dating

If you don’t want your dating app profile to be a walking red flag, consider the advice below.

1. Be too forward or use pickup lines

Any self-respecting person won’t respond well to messages that are too forward, sexual in nature, or are a variation of old pickup lines.

Even if you have good intentions, it comes off as rude and desperate.

2. Go crazy with photo filters or use too many group photos

I love Facetune as much as the next person when I need to adjust the lighting or remove a stubborn pimple from a photo.

But filtering your pictures to the point where you’re hardly recognizable is a no-go.

Also, make sure to upload more solo shots than group photos. Too many group photos are confusing since it’s too difficult to figure out which person is you, so people are more likely to just swipe left.

3. Pretend to be someone you’re not

Although this sounds like very generic advice, being your authentic self can be pretty tough on an app where you know others are evaluating you.

To be more authentic, don’t lie about your interests or make certain aspects of your life seem more important than they are.

For example, if you’re generally a more introverted person, don’t write a bio that makes you sound the opposite. It will only attract the wrong people for you and you’ll end up disappointed.

4. Be insecure and negative

If your bio makes you sound like you have a chip on your shoulder the size of Asia, you should re-evaluate your approach to dating apps.

Bios that start with “I have incredibly high standards so if I swipe right on you that means you’re special” scream insecurity.

And even if you are tired of people wasting your time, don’t write this in your bio. It makes you sound unpleasant and standoffish.

5. Invite someone over to your place on the first date

As a safety precaution, first dates should always be in public. Anything else is too dangerous.

You’re inviting a literal stranger into your home – you might as well have gone outside and asked a random person on the street to come in.

It also makes you seem desperate because most people interpret an invite to hang out at your place as a booty call. Doing this before you’ve even met in person is not a great first impression.

6. Commit too soon

In a previous post about dating advice from TikTok, one influencer explained why you shouldn’t be loyal to someone you just met.

The main point is: No matter how amazing your first few dates went, you shouldn’t assume you’re committed to each other unless you have this conversation.

Unless you agree to be in a relationship, you should assume that the other person is still using dating apps and seeing other people. And you should do the same.

This will help you avoid becoming attached to someone you don’t know that well.

7. Ask for a person’s number or Instagram profile right away

The majority of dating apps today have all the features you’d find in major text messaging apps.

So there’s no need to ask your match for their phone number or social media handles.

Some people are very careful with whom they share this information, and you don’t want to turn them off by being too forward. After the first or second date, however, feel free to ask.

8. Ask someone out without a plan

If you ask someone out, it’s common courtesy to suggest a plan for the date.

Don’t be one of those people who go “So what do you want to do?” It makes you seem like you’re not willing to put in the minimum effort needed to plan a date. From a female perspective, it’s a bad look.

Bonus tip: a walk doesn’t count as a date – plan something that feels less middle school, such as lunch or dinner.

Online dating is convenient – but don’t forget to put in the effort

Effort is key when it comes to online dating — downloading an app is easy, but everything after that requires a bit of investment on your part.

By creating an eye-catching profile that reflects the best version of yourself, being honest and open in your conversations, and making sure you keep safety at the forefront of your mind — you can have a positive experience with online dating.

So if you’re ready for an adventure in the world of digital romance, make sure to keep these tips top-of-mind!

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this article, let me know: you can connect with me on Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. All opinions are my own and don’t represent the views of anyone else.

Aida

Marketing is my day job. But I'm also passionate about sharing my dating expertise and experiences, and helping young women date better and have more fulfilling relationships.

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