No, Your Boyfriend Following Instagram Models Is Not OK

Unfortunately, most women dating these days can relate to this scenario: you start going out with a new guy, everything’s going well, and then… You see his Instagram following list.

Your stomach drops. He’s following dozens or maybe hundreds of women — fitness models, influencers, and OnlyFans girls posting softcore content.

Your boyfriend following Instagram models wasn’t something you expected, and it doesn’t feel good. You don’t want him to do it. But you’re not sure if you’re allowed to feel that way.

So you Google it and every article tells you the same thing: “It depends on the couple.” “Be curious.” “Examine your jealousy.” Half the internet is calling you insecure for caring, and the other half is telling you to “just communicate.”

Well, I’m here to tell you that his behavior is not ok and you shouldn’t pretend otherwise.

Is It OK for Your Boyfriend to Follow Instagram Models?

No. It’s not okay for your boyfriend to follow Instagram models because it’s disrespectful — to your relationship, to your feelings, and to you as a woman.

A man who’s serious about being with you doesn’t need a curated feed of other women in provocative poses.

Someone who genuinely likes you, wants to be with you, and respects you as a woman understands that publicly following all of these profiles is hurtful and humiliating.

Let me break this down.

It’s completely normal to find other people attractive when you’re in a relationship. It’s a human response that you can’t control.

If you walk through an airport, you might notice someone attractive. But you don’t do anything about it because you’re in a committed relationship. You certainly don’t go home and tell your partner about it, because you know it would hurt their feelings. You keep it to yourself and move on.

Following Instagram models is the opposite of keeping it to yourself. It’s taking action on attraction.

It’s him saying, “I find these women so attractive that I need to see them in my feed every day, and I’m showing that interest publicly.” It’s a choice he makes every time he hits “follow.”

It’s the same as going out to dinner with friends, and your boyfriend starts talking about how attractive his coworker is, publicly showing interest in other women while you’re sitting right there.

No woman should have to tolerate that — not at a dinner table, and not on Instagram.

I don’t care how many people tell you, “Every guy does it.” A lot of guys do things that aren’t acceptable in a relationship. Just because this behavior is common doesn’t mean it’s okay.

Why This Bothers You And Why You’re Not “Crazy” for It

Your boyfriend following provocative accounts on Instagram bothers you because your gut is picking up on a lack of respect for you and for the relationship.

Here’s why every single one of these reasons is valid.

It’s public

What makes Instagram follows worse than private browsing is that everyone can see them, including friends and family. Not to mention that you see it every time you open his profile.

He’s telling the world that he wants this content in his daily feed, and he doesn’t care who knows — including you.

He doesn’t think your comfort is worth more than his social media consumption habits.

It’s interactive, not passive

Following someone on Instagram isn’t the same as flipping through a magazine because it’s a platform built for interaction.

He can like, comment, DM, save, and share these posts.

Even if he’s not doing any of that right now, following is the first step toward engaging. And these women are reachable in a way that a model in a magazine never was.

SEE ALSO: 20 Silent Red Flags In A Relationship You Need To Know About

It tells you something about how he sees women

The accounts a man chooses to follow tell you how he sees women, and if his feed is full of women reduced to body parts, he’s telling you that’s what he values most about them.

And if he knows it makes you uncomfortable and keeps doing it anyway? That tells you everything you need to know about where you fall on his list of priorities.

What to Do When Your Boyfriend Follows Instagram Models

You don’t need a 10-step communication plan for this or couples therapy.

What you need to do is tell him it bothers you, watch how he responds, and let his response tell you whether he’s worth your time. I’m speaking from experience.

Tell him directly

Tell your boyfriend that you’re uncomfortable with him following these accounts and that you need him to unfollow them. Don’t soften it.

For example, you could say: “I’m not comfortable with you following accounts that are basically softcore content. It feels disrespectful to me, and I need you to unfollow them.”

Watch what happens next

How he responds to this conversation will tell you whether he actually respects you or just claims he does.

Does he hear you out, take you seriously, and unfollow the accounts? Good. That’s a man who values you more than his Instagram feed.

(It’s a low bar, but at least he cleared it.)

But if he gets defensive or starts a fight, then you’ll know that all of those virtual women on his screen are more important to him than you are. And that’s reason enough to walk away.

Important: Don’t fall for the “I’ll unfollow them” promise that he never actually follows through on. Check back in a week. If nothing’s changed, he told you what you needed to hear, but he didn’t mean it.

Don’t negotiate this standard

If he doesn’t want to unfollow these accounts, he can find another girlfriend.

This sounds harsh, but it’s what women with high standards do.

If a man makes you feel like you’re asking for too much by wanting his respect, he’s not the man for you.

Also, do not:

• Secretly unfollow accounts from his phone when he’s not looking
• Monitor his following list every day hoping it’ll change on its own
• Convince yourself you’re being “too much” or “controlling”
• Stay quiet because you’re afraid the conversation will end the relationship

If the conversation ends the relationship, the relationship wasn’t worth keeping.

FAQs About Boyfriends Following Instagram Models

Is it normal for guys to follow Instagram models?

It’s common. But common doesn’t mean acceptable. Lots of things are common in dating that aren’t healthy or respectful. The question isn’t whether other guys do it but whether it’s compatible with the relationship you want.

Should I break up with my boyfriend for following Instagram models?

Not necessarily over the follows alone. But if you’ve told him it bothers you and he dismisses you, gets defensive, or keeps doing it — yes, because he doesn’t care about you.

Is following Instagram models considered cheating?

It’s not cheating in the traditional sense. But it’s not “nothing” either. It sits somewhere in the middle as a form of disrespect that tells you where his priorities are. You don’t need to label it as cheating to be allowed to have a problem with it.

How do I bring this up without sounding jealous?

You don’t need to manage how you “sound.” You’re allowed to have standards, so don’t frame it as a question. “This is what I need in a relationship” is very different from “Could you maybe unfollow them if you don’t mind?”

SEE ALSO: 10 Situationship Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore

What if he says I’m being insecure?

If his response to your boundary is to question your mental state, he’s deflecting.

He’s turning the conversation around so you’re defending yourself instead of him answering for his behavior. A man who respects you would hear the concern, not make you feel crazy for having it.

You’re not asking for something unreasonable. You’re asking for a partner who doesn’t need a daily feed of other women’s bodies to get through his day.